It’s a common dream for many: you’re running from some great and fearsome object afraid that you’re going to be squished.
What happens when that dream becomes an actually metaphor for life? Two jobs, a family, and numerous other responsibilities, both real and assumed, doesn’t leave much time to rest. I know this to be a similar case for many. It seems that those who are willing to assume responsibility for something are seldom questioned or relieved of said responsibility. The trouble is when those responsibilities begin to be cause for an absence of rest. Sometime this can happen to the point of losing sleep in order to accomplish some task that is weighing on the mind, and cannot be put to rest until it is finished.
This leaves us in a place in which we feel as though we can’t stop. We might say, “so and so is counting on me to get this or that done.” Whatever the cause for our unction to take care of the many things we are invested in, we feel as though stopping anyone of them is a life or death matter. We get advice to “give something up”. But what should we give up? We think of the hours of effort, and sacrifice in this thing, the months dedicated to that one, or the years invested in the other one, and couldn’t dream of giving any of them up. Yet, we are told, “if you don’t give something up, you’ll end up giving them all up”, when this or that health issue strikes due to elevated stress and no rest. So we set about evaluating again.
Perhaps if I can just slow down a bit in this thing or that one, we reason. And so we find ways to pull back, but not give up entirely. For some this works great, but for others, not as much. I’ve wondered often if it is a matter of caring too much. Or, perhaps it is hubris. Maybe it is just my imagining that I am so integral to the success of this thing or that, and so I don’t quit. Maybe it’s an issue of control. If I’m doing it, then it will get done the way I would do it. It’s hard to say. Self reflection is hard, and we have a great way of sliding out from under the scalpel of introspection.
Whatever the cause, we can’t stop. I can’t stop, or at least I haven’t learned how just yet. As always this brings me back to Jesus. I know that He bids me to come and rest in Him, and truth be told, if I never did, I’m sure one of those health events would have struck by now. The struggle is seeing that rest as more of a pitstop designed to help me continue the race, rather than being a soul restoring driver change. I suppose there is much I have to learn yet, but with my King this too is possible.